Fear
by AppleSodaPie
Summary: Why did Lily always refuse James's advances? Was it simply because of his outward persona or was it more? Did James represent the thing Lily feared most of all?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A timid knock sounds on the door of a room, occupied by the most feared wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort.

"Enter," the voice is high pitched and merciless.

A small, wizard enters, he is obviously terrified,"M-m-my L-lord, the S-Seer has arrived." He cowers, waiting for the response of his master.

"Well then show her in you fool!"

The wizard jumps and hurries from the room. A few moments later a tall and proud woman glides into the room. She does not cower to the occupant, but walks straight over to him and acknowledges his presence with a regal condescension.

"Well Seer, what have you Seen that is of such importance?"

The Seer reprimands Voldemort, "It would serve you better to treat me well, _my lord_, for what i have Seen will wither make or break you! I have Seen a union, a union that will have the power to destroy you! You must ensure that this union does not come to pass if you are to thrive. The Potters have just birthed a son, James, he has inherited the power of both his parents, you yourself know their talents, he alone will be a problem in the future. However, another has been born, one that if united with the Potter boy will be your downfall. Her name is Lily Evans, a muggleborn, like yourself if i am not mistaken. Their love will grow so strong that they will destroy you. You must find a way to persuade Miss Evans from falling for Mr Potter, if you do not you will condemn yourself!"

"When will this union come to pass?"

"I have not Seen this, only that if together they will destroy you!"

"Very well you may leave!"

"My lord, act carefully for either one could be a useful accessory!" With this the Seer left the room and the Dark Lord was left to think over his plan of action.

"If this girl, Lily Evans is indeed a mudblood, we will not know the extent of her power until she has been informed of her powers. No, i must wait until she has shown her potential to act, should she show herself to be powerful she must be persuaded to join me! A spy in Hogwarts would be most useful! The Potter boy does not concern me, all the Potters are as arrogant as one another! I will bide my time and wait, they will show their true colours soon enough."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"Lily!" The shriek of Arabella Figg, could be heard over all the other shouting voices on platform 9 ¾'s. Lily laughed at her best friends complete lack of subtlety and pushed her way through he crowds to reach her.

"Hey Bella, how was Italy?"

"It was amazing! You should've come with me,w e had the most fantastic time!" At this Lily looked confused,

"We?" Arabella's eyes suddenly widened as she realised her mistake.

"Did I say we? Silly me i meant...um...my family and me!" Just as Lily was about to question her further an all too familiar voice came from behind her.

"Well, if it isn't little miss Evans!" Lily turned to see the person she hated more than anyone else in the world!

"Potter, is it just me or did your head balloon to double it's size over the summer?" James simple smirked and looked over Lily to Bella.

"Hey Bella, did you get all your stuff alright? We got back pretty late from Italy," at the shocked look on Lily's face he continued, "Oh, Evans didn't you know? Bella, me and Sirius spent the summer together in Italy, pity you couldn't have made it i wouldn't have minded seeing you in a bikini!" At this, Lily swung at him furiously and James ducked, missing her hand by centimetres. "Woah Evans, chill, if my heads doubled in size then your temper must have tripled over the summer," to Bella he said, "See ya on the train, I know Sirius will be waiting," with this he winked and turned to get on the train, leaving Bella to deal with a furious Lily.

"How could you not tell me that you spent the last two months with Potter and Black? Did it just slip your mind? Or did you not care that your _best_ friend can't stand them?" Before Bella had a chance to answer, Lily turned on her heels and stormed onto the train to find the prefects compartment, inside there was only one occupant, fortunately it was the one Marauder that Lily actually liked, Remus Lupin.

"Hey Lily, good summer?" then he noticed Lily's flustered appearance and asked, "James?"

"Urgh, how can you be friends with such an arrogant, self-centered jerk like him?" Lupin smiled in response to this and put down the book he had been reading.

"Honestly Lily, you must be the only girl to ever meet James and dislike him! Like I keep telling you, he really isn't that bad once you get to know him, in fact he's a bloody good friend!" Lily just rolled her eyes and flopped down onto a seat.

"I just don't see why he acts the way he does. I know he's not a bad person, but he does a pretty good job at imitating one sometimes! Nevermind I'm putting him from my mind this year, the OWLS are too important to screw up because of him. So how was your summer?"

Remus smiled at her complete change in temperment, from furious to friendly, but he was used to it by now, "it was good actually. We went to Cyprus for a month. Did you go anywhere?"

Lily shook her head, "No, dad had to work all summer, but it was fine, i got to spend it with all my old friends and we had a really great time!"

At this point the rest of the prefects entered the compartment with the Head boy and girl. Lily and Remus didn't have a chance to talk for the rest of the journey, with the threat of Lord Voldemort the prefects had many extra duties and so had to hear what they were expected to do this year. By the time the train arrived at the station the prefects were exhausted just by listening to the amount of tasks they were expected to perform in the upcoming year. Lily and Remus went their seperate ways once the train stopped and Lily decided to skip the feast and instead go up to her dorm. She had just closed the door to her room and reached for a glass beside her bed to fill with water, when she felt a tug behind her navel and the next thing she knew she felt like she was falling through air. When she landed she was in a dark room lit with a few candles. Disoriented she looked around, hoping to discover where she was, when from the darkness a high pitched voice said, "Miss Evans i presume, I've been waiting for you!"


	3. Chapter 3

Heya everyone! Special thanks to xRazberryGurlx and pottervirgo! This chapters for you two!

Last Chapter:

Disoriented she looked around, hoping to discover where she was, when from the darkness a high pitched voice said, "Miss Evans i presume, I've been waiting for you!"

Chapter 3:

Before Lily could ask the name of the owner of the voice, the lights came up on one end of the room and Lily gasped. Her parents stood side by side in the spotlight. Lily rushed over to them, "Mum! Dad!" embracing each one in turn, but they remained motionless. "Mum? Dad? What's wrong?"

From the darkness the same cold, high pitched voice spoke, "Don't waste your breath Miss Evans. They will not reply, at least not until I tell them to." With this, the lights on the other end of the room came up and Lily let out a terrified scream. The face that she saw was repulsive and unmistakable. She was in the presence of Lord Voldemort! Too frightened to run, she remained frozen, unable to speak.

A smirk formed on Voldemorts disfigured face, "It's nice to know I haven't lost my touch, but really Miss Evans I expected better from you!"

Too confused by this to remember her fear Lily responded, "Me? Why me and what have you done to my parents?"

"Miss Evans you are a bright witch, I should know, so I will not insult your intelligence by lying to you. I have come to realise that if you go unchecked you will become a threat to me in the near future, therefore, I have taken action and summoned you to me." At this point Lily interrupted,

"But how could I be of threat to you? I'm still at school! And how do my parents have anything to do with this?"

"Do not interrupt me again Miss Evans or you will regret it! Now where was I? Ah yes, i have a proposition for you Miss Evans and that is why you have been called here today. Join me Miss Evans, learn magic you will never learn anywhere else! Become the powerful witch that you are destined to be! The only favour I ask in return for my teachings, is that you report to me on all the going ons at Hogwarts. Does this seem reasonable to you Miss Evans?" With this Voldemort looked expectantly at Lily, who was staring at me with a look of confusement written on her face.

"You want me to spy on Dumbledore for you? Why would i ever agree to that?"

"Ah Miss Evans I have indeed underestimated you! Alright then, yes, i do wish for you to spy on Dumbledore for me, he is my greatest opposition and with your help I would gain the information needed to defeat him. As for a reason as to why you might agree to this proposition, apart from the fact that you will learn, first hand from me, magic that you could not comprehend, this is where your parents come in! The reason they are so very unresponsive is because they have been placed under the Imperious Curse," at this Lily gasped, "Do not be worried Miss Evans, if you comply with my proposition then they will not come to any harm. However, should you choose to decline then i will be forced to do this. Crucio!"

Mr Evans collapsed on the floor, shaking violently. His mouth was open as if he was screaming, yet no sound emerged. Lily screamed in protest and ran to her fathers side.

"Miss Evans, just agree to do as i have asked and your fathers life will be spared!" Lily looked, from her fathers writhing form to Voldemorts face and then whishpered something inaudible to the human ear. "I'm sorry Miss Evans, but i could not hear you, should i increase the level of pain your father feels or will you speak up!"

"I'll do it!", Lily screamed at Voldemort, "but know I am not doing this to help you, I am only doing this for my parents sake!"

"Do it for whatever reason's you like Miss Evans, as long as you do it," a sick smile had formed on Voldemorts repulsive face, which made Lily want to vomit. "Now Miss Evans, lets talk buisness shall we? Please follow me into more comfortable surroundings!" With this Voldemort began to walk from the room. Lily looked at her fathers unresponsive form, kissed him on the forehead and then hurried after Voldemort.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Lily followed Voldemort through a large door and into a plushly decorated room.

"Do sit Miss Evans," Voldemort gestured vaguely to the abundance of chairs. Lily sank slowly into one but did not relax, every fibre of her being was screaming at her to run, but her brain told her it would be useless, so she remained.

"Very well, here is what you must do to ensure the safety of your beloved parents. I understand that you are a prefect, it is unfortunate you must be a Gryffindor, but one cannot have everything they wish for. You will report to me weekly, anything unusual such as Dumbledore leaving the school or strangers arriving. You will not tell anyone of this arrangement, I will know if you have spoken to anyone Miss Evans! You will also stay away from a certain Mr Potter."

At the sound of his name, Lily made a horrible sound, which caused Voldemort to raise a non-existent eyebrow, "Yes I'd heard of your hatred of Mr Potter. Well then, that part of the bargain should be easy for you to maintain. Any questions Miss Evans?"

"No"

"No what Lily? You are in service to me now and you will treat me with respect!"

"No, _my lord._"

"That's better, you may go now! We are finished here."

At this began to rise from the chair she was sitting in, when a thought occurred to her, "what about my parents, _my lord_?"

"Do not concern yourself with such issues, they will be perfectly safe, as long as you hold up your end of the bargain! Now if you would be so kind as to pick up the glass beside you and leave, I am very busy!"

"Very good, _my lord_." Lily reached for the glass.

"Miss Evans...I will be in touch soon!" With that Lily grasped the glass and felt the familiar tug behind her navel.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

When Lily returned to her dorm, the rest of the occupants were fast asleep in their beds. Lily sank onto her bed and held her head in her hands. _Did that really happen? Did i just agree to help the most evil wizard that ever existed? Oh hell, what have i done?_

Lily got up and slipped out of the dormitory, she decided she needed some fresh air to clear her head. As she got to the portrait hole she collided with someone, coming from the other side. They both fell to the ground and Lily realised that none other than James Potter was lying on top of her. A sudden wave of fear crashed over her and she roughly pushed him off her and fled through the portrait hole before he had a chance to complain. She ran through the hallways of the school until she reached the entrance hall, tugging ferociously on the doors she escaped into the cool night air.

The look on Lily's face had been one of pure terror, which caused James to wonder what could have happened. Deciding to find out he followed Lily out into the Hogwarts grounds. He saw her sitting under a nearby tree and quickly realised she was not shaking from the cold, but from the huge sobs racking her fragile frame.

James knew Lily would never let him comfort her, but he knew someone she would. He quickly transformed into his animagi form, a magnificent stag. Many times before James had come across Lily in his stag form and she had shared intimate secrets with him, he hoped this would be one of these times. He made his way over to her and gently lay down next to her and let his head fall into her lap. She sat their stroking his head absent mindedly, lost in her own thoughts. She never said a word, just silently wept, yet the presence of the stag was a great comfort to her and he knew it. Eventually, she raised herself from the ground, gave the stag a kiss and then made her way back to Gryffindor tower.

James was left outside to think about what could have possibly happened to make her so upset, he transformed back into his human self and then followed Lily up to the tower, mulling it over.

Over the next few weeks, teachers and pupils alike noticed a change in the usually vivacious Lily. After a while Bella decided to confront her friend about her odd behaviour and cornered her one night in the Gryffindor common room.

"Lily, may i sit down?" Bella asked with a timid air, Lily had been very temperamental during the previous few weeks.

"If you want to, but I have a potions essay to finish!" With this Lily bent back over her parchment and furiously carried on writing.

"Lily, I really need to talk to you. I know things have been strange between us since the first day back, but I was hoping that we could work everything out. You've been really stressed lately and I was wondering if I could help in anyway?" Bella finished looking hopefully at Lily. Lily surveyed her friend and realised she was right. Lily had been stressed and worse she'd taken it out on other people. Over the last few weeks, Lily had been in constant contact with Voldemort. She hated herself for betraying the headmaster, who had always been so kind to her, but she couldn't risk her parents lives. Lily decided that even if she could not tell her best friend the real reason for her stress, it would be good to have someone to talk with, maybe being friends with someone would make Lily feel less evil for carrying out the betrayal.

"Your right Bella, I have been stressed. I guess I've been listening to much to the teachers about the OWLS! I'm sorry about the day at the train station, I may not like Potter and Black but you have every right to hang out with them as long as you don't force me to!" With this Lily smiled at Bella and reached across the table and hugged her. _Am i a terrible person for lying to her?_

Over the next two years, Lily learnt how to balance her double life, consoling herself by thinking of James Bond. After all he lead a double life and he was still a good guy...right? Not only did she continue to excel at her academic studies, but she was proving to be particularly gifted at the Dark Arts. Voldemort kept his promise and trained Lily himself and was pleased with her progress. Lily avoided Potter as much as possible, his constant requests for her to go out with him, and her constant refusals and turned into a joke shared by the entire school, including the staff. James often thought of the night in 5th year, but had never figured out what had caused Lily's tears. He contented himself with assurances from Bella that Lily was all right, but a nagging voice at the back of his mind kept telling him that something was desperately wrong and he was determined to discover what it was.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

It was not until the beginning of seventh year that James was able to talk directly to Lily. Unsurprisingly Lily had been made head girl, with her perfect grades and obvious talent she was a no brainer. What did surprise many was the choice for head boy, James. Nobody could deny his many talents, but with his flagrant disregard for the rules and constant pranking, along with Sirius no one had thought he would have been chosen for the prestigious title. Nobody was more surprised than James himself, although one other made very public protestations about his appointment…Lily.

Soon after boarding the Hogwarts Express, Lily made her way to the heads compartment, leaving Bella alone. Lily had almost reached her destination when a cloaked figure emerged and pulled her roughly inside the heads compartment. Used to these random appearances Lily did not scream, but merely allowed herself to be thrown inside.

The figure did not remove his cloak, but Lily had no problem identifying him, the long, pale, skeletal fingers that lingered on her arm gave him away.

"My Lord, this is a _pleasant _surprise, but I was informed you would not be _requiring _my presence until later." Although, Lily had served Voldemort for almost two years now and had come to respect his talents as a wizard, she had never fully bowed to his will. Whilst others feared what may happen to their loved ones, should they disobey Voldemorts orders, Lily did not. He already had her parents under his control. Lily knew that death could not be worse than the meaningless existence they had now.

"Miss Evans," The voice was cold and high pitched, but it was not this that made Lily flinch. It was the harsh, furious tone with which Voldemort used. "Did you not understand our agreement? I was under the impression that it was very clear and that you being so _very_ intelligent _understood_ the serious repercussion should you break it."

At these words Lily recoiled slightly, but quickly composed herself and replied, "I know that having such a _powerful _job must be very stressful, but if you can no longer refrain from paranoid hallucinations then you really should step down and allow someone else to take over! What are you talking about? Of course I understood the agreement, _I _stay away from Potter and spy on Dumbledore for _you_ and _you_ leave my parents alone." A flash of red was visible under the hood and Lily knew she had gone too far.

"Lily, had you not continually shown your immense talents and proven yourself extremely useful to me, I can assure you that you would be in a serious amount of pain right now. Now allow me to explain very carefully, by accepting the position of head girl you have broken the terms of our agreement. The only reason I am allowing you to continue is because, your situation will allow you to monitor Dumbledore with much more ease." Footsteps could be heard in the hallway approaching the compartment.

Frustrated Lily kept her concentration on Voldemort, "What do you mean? I haven't broken the terms-" But she was interrupted, the handle of the compartment door was turning.

"You'll see, I'll be in touch soon!" With this Voldemort promptly disappeared from the train, leaving behind a confused Lily to face the entering person.

Lily turned to see who it was and suddenly understood, a wave of pure terror crashed over her entire body. "James?"

James looked up when he heard his name spoken from within the carriage he was entering. "Lily!" He was not surprised to see her here, everyone knew she would be made head girl. It was the look on her face that shocked him, although used to looks of pure hatred, this was not the same. The look on her face was the same as the night in fifth year…terror.

At the sound of her name Lily snapped into action, wiping the terrified look from her face she replaced it with the usual look of contempt when faced with James. "What are you doing here _Potter_, lose your way? You know, after all these years I'd have thought even _you_ would be able to find your way around the train. But obviously not, so let me help you, this is the heads compartment, you don't belong here!" _Oh God, please let him just be lost, how the hell will I stay away from him if he's head boy?_

James was not fooled by her attempt to cover the look of terror that had been so apparent on her face only moments earlier. However, knowing she would never tell him what the reason behind it was he decided to act as he usually did in response to her hatred.

"Now, now Lils that's not way to talk to the head boy is it? Tell me who were you talking to before? You don't have a secret lover do you, 'coz you know that would break my poor little heart?"

Rolling her eyes Lily replied, "Don't be stupid Potter, you know very well that no one apart from you has asked me out since fifth year, you made sure to that!"

Smiling broadly James said, "Good, then Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" Knowing full well what the answer would be. _3-2-1-_

"Shove off Potter, I'd rather-"

"Yes I know, you'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than with me, really Lily you should think of a better knock back than that! Oh well, now I have an entire year, sharing a dorm with you! You won't be able to resist me for long!"

Lily turned away from him trying her best not to laugh. She had found it increasingly difficult to refuse James's advancements. Not only was he talented and completely gorgeous, but some of the things he said showed that he really understood her, although how she had know idea. Sitting down in a huff, Lily realised that seventh year may be her biggest challenge yet…not falling for James.

When the prefects had all been and gone, Lily turned to look out of the window, in the reflection she could see James watching her thoughtfully. Forcing her eyes closed, so that she could not see him anymore, Lily tried to fall asleep, but thoughts kept running through her mind. _How can I stay away from him now? _After a while, Lily fell into a fitful sleep, dreaming of all the possible ways that Voldemort could kill her parents, if she did not stay away from James.

Over on the other side of the carriage James was watching Lily and thinking._ The look on her face when I entered, that was the same look she gave me when we bumped into each other in fifth year. What could have happened that scared her, no terrified her like that? And what does it have to do with me?_ Knowing that he would not be satisfied until he had discovered her secret, James slipped from the heads compartment and went to find his friends. As he entered their compartment he remember the vow he had made all those years ago, that he would find out what happened to Lily. This year would be his last chance, he had to find out her secret.

He sat in silence, ignoring his friends, for the rest of the train ride, by the time the train pulled into the station James knew what he would do, it wouldn't be easy, but he knew it was the only way…he had to make Lily Evans fall in love with him.

Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in so long, my computer and like with my other story Mistakes (which by the way I've updated so check it out!) I couldn't remember where the story was going, so sorry if this isn't as good as the rest! I'll try and update soon!

Also I want lots of reviews! Come on people I only have 11 so far! Please if you have any CC (constructive criticism) then pleeeeeease write me a review and tell me! 11 reviews, that's pitiful people! LOL

Nilla976

x x x


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